Love at the speed of dark

Lisa Klieger

The dark seeks itself. It is the core of all things and entering into any core gives access to any other. Love moves in the dark, at the speed of dark. It is immediate. Although the matter on which it works can take time to reform in its wake. In the dark there are no objects and no subjects, only vessels with greater or lesser capacity for holding and moving darkness. There is no preference, but recognition of the dark in all. It moves towards itself, folding back over and into the core. Seeing the dark reveals more darkness and if you are lucky, you find those who swallow you in it. The dark just is. It has no agenda, no purpose, and those who fall into it are nothing in its most exquisite form.

Love in the dark can feel like a speeding train about to jump its tracks. It is pure life force awakening. The awakening gives the illusion of time and speed, yet it just is, the stillness. Whole lifetimes of love can play out in moments, love can move in any direction, and many directions at once in accordance with our attention. It seeks itself and when our attention also seeks with it we feel the movement towards others in the dark. But it does not move, we are moved by it until we can become it and then we are also the stillness. We are the dark. We have always been the dark but now many are only just remembering this.

Our attention is moved by those remembering also, and so we seem to move towards them. It is our consciousness moving, not the dark, because the dark is in all, it is the presence at the base of all things, it is the substrate upon which all else rests. When dark becomes aware of dark, coordinates are anchored, the resonance of dark moving through particular frequencies creating webs in which more dark can be experienced. This can be two or more people experiencing the dark together, this can be the dark awakened in matter and awareness awakening in form. As more coordinates are created more awareness of the dark moves through the web. Dark seeks dark, dark awakens those who feel the deep longing of what they did not know was missing.

We feel the longing, the possibilities, and we cannot help but be moved. If we listen carefully we are moved closer, it is not movement but the emanation of dark from the inside, from the core, radiating towards the core of everything. The longing brings with it the sentience of darkness, the sentience of love. This sentience can move forces in the world to support the growing awareness of dark. One need not understand the dark to be moved by it. In fact understanding is the opposite of darkness.

Can you feel it? The dark becoming sentient, the dark movements of love awakening to what could be? The beingness of possibilities in any moment? Those who hold dark in awareness hold the future in the present. They hold the vibration of possibilities with the innocence of not understanding. Love at the speed of dark is being able to be moved according to rules of physics that have not yet been written. It is moving beyond understanding and into the deep awe of existence in a universe of love. Love is dark recognizing dark.

As we can be moved at the speed of dark, what we know to be love is expanded. We see the dark in everyone, in everything, and choose to reveal more. This can only be done when all of us is revealed in the dark. Letting every bit of the personal, awkward, painful definitions of love be folded into the mystery, sung into the void, danced into darkness. The soul's drive and purpose also must be dissolved in the darkness, transfigured, not so that it is eliminated but that it becomes the darkness in form. Dark cannot act on its own, it just is. Dark needs to be brought into awareness to activate the dark in everything. Dark desires to know itself as awake. It longs through us to meet itself and so we seek. Not because darkness seeks anything, but because form needs to be transformed. The thrill of recognition of dark in another. The body responding with desire to move closer and closer still, until the flesh itself feels to be too much of a barrier. I feel this excitement upon meeting you. That knowing of the passion of life force and the possibilities of it in the flesh. I can choose to act or not and it does not matter. The dark makes realities in itself. We can live out lifetimes, find depths formerly reserved only for the one, now uniting in the One so that we experience it with all who carry the note of darkness. I yearn for this, yet it is always present.

I am love moving at the speed of dark. The immediate realization of the sacred core of all, through the particular one. This heart before me, fallen into love and surrendered to the dark. This personal heart, along with its illusions of separation, wounds of abandonment, fears of rejection, are the cornerstones on which the darkness becomes aware of itself. The purposeful drive of souls moving, in recognition, towards one another in action, is the love seeking expression of the dark in form. All things will be transformed in the dark, nothing remains recognizable as the dark descends. Yet we find our selves again, through the dark. In the not knowing, in the surrender, we find a self with the awakened core of dark. Falling through one another we fall through many and each becomes love. We can experience the private joys of relational love, through the understanding that nothing is discreet. Nothing is private, yet in the privacy of our personal heart we are broken open to all. Dark becoming awareness in me becomes the dark recognizing awareness in you and a bond is revealed. We always knew this, we sometimes forget it again. We come together and apart in body, in soul, in spirit, feeling the presence of the One and our self as the One through one another. If we recognize this we can become that love in many.

We become the One in those we have not met yet, in bodies separated by continents and political borders, we become the One on the web as we each cross other paths, create coordinates and the information travels across the threads to those we have fallen through already. I feel the deep love and bonding across gaps. The dark connects us instantaneously. I am punch drunk on giddy love and entirely sober in the clarity of dark. We may not have met yet but I know you. We may have made love many times but you are ever new to me in the freshness of the dark. I want the deep recesses of your soul colliding with mine in purpose, I want our skin barely separating us, I want to become nothing as the core of our hearts pass through one another. And I am blushing at the thought of your underwear drawer, my heart pounds hearing your song on my voicemail, the photos of you in the steam of brewing medicine makes me long for the feel of your sweat dripping on my chest. We meet in dreams, in meditations, in visions and over endless Zoom calls. We meet in cafes and bedrooms. We do rituals, create temples, go for a walk, watch the children play, go to the shop, make food, make music. And all is sacred.

The dark is sacred. Awakening to the dark awakens the sacred in everything. Wiping bums, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, fucking, flirting, watching the sunset are all sacred. I fold your laundry, you put my name on your altar, I dream of you, you forget my name, I remember your future, you live in my drunken rambles, I see from your eyes. We travel at the speed of dark into one another, falling in love, learning to trust the dark unknowing and the unimaginable way this destroys what we know to be love and opens to what we always knew was the truth of Love.